Now That It's All Over
by TaintedRainbows
Summary: Pretty much the ending scene of Kuroshitsuji I. I wrote it from memory so it might not be completely accurate, but I liked the idea of alternating P.O.V.'s. Read and Review? Oneshot.


**A/N: Yeah, I wrote this a really long time ago, posted it, found it again, realized I hated it, edited it(added a LOT) and here it is! It's better, I think. But I also haven't gone over it in nearly two months. If it sucks, I apologize. Review? I know I could improve.**

**Oh yeah. This is written in alternating P.O.V.'s, so just in case anyone is confused, it starts out with Ciel, and switches back and forth. I think I made it pretty clear, but... y'know. **

* * *

_So this is where I am to die._ My mind is racing, childish worries coming to me now. With some effort, I quickly push them to the corner of my consciousness to be forgotten. I can't afford to let Sebastian see my weak state of mind. Not now. I have spent the past five years hiding my emotions and to let them show now would mean that I wasted the effort. One question plagues my mind continuously though, this one seemingly acceptable to ask my demonic servant. After all, I trust Sebastian with my life. How could I not? The demon that has been my protection for so long has dragged me in to relying on him for everything. Surely a terrible idea, though I have spent my entire life relying on everyone around me, controlling them.

"Will it hurt?" My voice doesn't waver, for which I am grateful. I am so scared, but I would hate myself if Sebastian knew. This is the end… I ponder the thought. I never thought I would fear it as I do now. I suppose it all seemed quite distant back then. Now that it is upon me, I struggle not to tremble in my panic.

* * *

I smile. Even now, in the face of death, my Young Master is still desperately trying to hold on to his mature façade. If only he knew I could see right through that mask of false bravery. Ever so dignified. I am glad to finally be ridding myself of that particularly irksome trait. His more childish moments had made me wonder if he really deserved this. It really is up to me to decide. And then the more frequent moments of demanding annoyance crushed those doubts. I am so pleased to be taking this child's life.

"It will, a bit," I reply simply. "I will try to be as gentle as possible though." I am lying. If Ciel doesn't expect the pain, it will be even harder to accept as his soul rips from his body. I stifle the excited shiver that threatens to race through my body.

* * *

"No." I answer quickly, almost interrupting him. I stare into his eyes, searching hopelessly for a shred of understanding. I do not want the sympathy of someone who was once below me. Sebastian has to understand this. I no longer control him. I am as good as dead now, though wasn't I always? Every moment has been leading up to this. Every mocking smirk, teasing touch…

"Etch the pain into my soul as proof that I lived," I continue, my voice carrying that commanding tone I always used when giving an order. My final order to my butler. The last of many. I think back to all of those useless things I made him do, just to try and discover something Sebastian couldn't accomplish.

I am trying very hard to keep my face emotionless, but my heartbeat is pounding in my ears as my own thoughts and doubts, memories and emotions torture me. Where am I to go after this? Certainly not heaven… I could never expect as much from God. No, I am damned to hell. Or perhaps I will just cease to exist. That is the most likely theory.

I stare, unseeing, at Sebastian. I suppose it will all be revealed in a moment. I want to cry and laugh and scream all at once, though I remain still. I have had so much time to think about this in the past years, but, in all honesty, I'd never really wanted to. I hated to think about my inevitable death, but tried to accept it. I bring myself back to the present, meeting Sebastian's gaze.

* * *

Standing and watching the boy, I wonder if he is aware of how much emotion his uncovered eye holds at this moment. I find myself tracing every line of the perfect face before me with hungry eyes. So beautiful… What a shame his life is to end so soon. I kneel and bow to my master. The last time. I am so anxious to be free of this burden that is my master.

"Yes, my Lord."

I stand now and step forward, closing the small space between myself and Ciel. I can see right though the emotionless mask and sense his fear. I don't know why, but I am suddenly disturbed by this. I don't want him to be afraid. In a small attempt to calm him, I softly stroke his face with my remaining hand before swiftly removing the now useless eye patch. I'd always hated the thing; it covered the beauty that is the cursed mark of what connects me to him.

* * *

A small, hopefully unnoticeable shiver races up my spine as Sebastian touches me with a gentleness that shouldn't be there. Why is he pretending to care? It doesn't make any sense. I surmise that this is just another illusion, like the teasing touch of his fingertips as he would undress me.

My right eye opens as the eye patch falls to the ground and I blink. A sudden urge to beg Sebastian not to do this flashes though me, but I smother the thought. I could never do such a thing… Accepting my fate, I let my head fall easily back to rest on the hard stone. I close my eyes, allowing Sebastian to proceed. I'm not exactly sure how this is going to happen; Sebastian never told me.

There is a strange sense of relief now. I shouldn't feel so calm, should I? There must be something wrong. I could've laughed at that careless thought. Everything is wrong… Either way, it's all over now. I sigh, contented in knowing that when I fade away tonight, I will be remembered as something more than a disappointment in my family. I am hardly upset by the fact that the Phantomhive family will not be carried on.

* * *

I am impressed. I had almost expected Ciel to ask me to stop; to try and bargain with me once more. Oh, how I wish I could've seen a moment of his weakness. But watching him surrender everything to me, I can't help my smirk. I feel the slightest pull of hesitation, but I push it aside. I've developed feelings for my masters before, but that was also easy to push away. Just as it is now. My kind was never intended to be affectionate.

Without another thought, I lean in and kiss him, stealing away his everything in that touch. He closes his eyes, though I don't. I want to see his life slip away before my eyes. I know he feels the pain now and I almost laugh as a quiet whimper comes from him.

* * *

I'm not sure what I had expected, but this is much worse. I never thought I'd be so aware of it all. His lips on mine, hands gripping my shoulders to keep me in place, as if I could've moved through the pain. And the pain! My entire body is stinging sharply, though my head is where it all is: the buzzing. Like a thousand bees, right in my ears and my mind. Everything feels like needles; every thought and slight movement of my fingers. I wish I could move, push him away and end this torture before insanity claims me. Punish him with a harsh slap as I have done so many times before. But then I realize that death is what is claiming me, very soon now.

I can quickly feel myself fading away. I forget simple things, like my parents' faces and then my name. The color of Elizabeth's eyes. What it was that caused me to ever want to summon Sebastian. Is this really what the past few years have been leading to? I'm unsure how to feel about it, but soon it doesn't matter because I can't remember who I am anymore. It all is happening too quickly for me to understand what I wanted only a few moments ago.

The pain begins to lesson and I sigh in relief as it disappears almost completely, just a slight sting left in my head. This is so amazing in comparison to the needle-like sensations; the soothing cold that is enveloping me makes me wish I remembered how to enjoy something. The sigh is an instinct, showing my gratitude for the fading pain. My life ends in that breath; I should have appreciated it more than I did. My very last regret.

* * *

Standing, I observe the lifeless body laying limply on the stone. Ciel is paler than he ever was in life, and so cold, like the stone. Like me; dead. I have been so far gone for the past hundred years, but I cannot blame him for such things, though he was nearly as far from innocence as I am.

The glazed sapphire eyes stare at me. I imagine their gaze as questioning and accusing and confused, all at once. I almost feel guilty for taking the soul that had given them their beauty and depth.

Almost.

I walk away in silence. What is there to say to the corpse of my lost source of amusement? Goodbye? I scoff at the thought and leave Ciel Phantomhive's body on the cold stone to rot away. I leave with no regrets; how indifferent I have become.


End file.
